Awkward Audition Experiences #1: Auditions In Wonderland

A few weeks ago I had an audition that was a bit on the unusual side.  I contacted the conductor of a local performance ensemble because I was interested in performing the tenor solo in a concert that was to be performed in the area within the next few months.

I sent the conductor an email:

“Dear Mr. Gardner, My name is The Radioactive Tenor and I am a tenor currently studying with Mme Iris. I learned of the upcoming X performance through  [Local classical music/opera newsletter] and I would like to express my interest in auditioning for the tenor soloist. I would like to inquire about the audition process and whether there are any dates available to audition. I can also send my resumé over e-mail using either PDF or Word/RTF format, whichever is more convenient.”

The exchange was bizarre from the beginning: After my introductory letter (where Ispecifically indicated that I was interested in performing in this concert) he suggested a meeting time and place, mentioned that there were “several tenor solos available” (the Cantata in question only has one aria and one recitativo for tenor) and referred to my audition as “trying each other out.” This gave me a weird vibe, since this is usually the kind of language a prospective voice teacher uses with a prospective student- hardly what you would expect to hear from a conductor and a performer, at least within my experience.

The second bizarre tidbit about this was that he requested no audition repertoire. In 99.99% of auditions, you walk into the room and you sing one or several pieces from a prepared list of repertoire that will show your strengths as a performer.  The parties interested then will judge your skill and artistic level and decide to whether sign you up or not for the opera/concert/gig/whatever.

What I mean by ‘requested no audition repertoire’ is that he said that he could give me a full hour or half an hour, the full hour having an accompanist at hand “depending on if you would like to work on rep with me,” the accompanist fee to be charged at my expense.  Now, normally you go to an audition and either the interested parties provide the accompanist or you can bring your own (and therefore negotiate a fee with the accompanist, in exchange for an accompanist who is familiar with the rep you are singing, and familiar with your way of singing it.) 

It was the second part of the sentence that puzzled me. I have never really been to any auditions where the conductor or music director was interested in ‘working on repertoire’ with me. Working on repertoire is, again, something you do with a coach or your voice teacher – for an audition, you present material you already have polished and ‘worked on’ with somebody else, so I was getting increasingly mixed signals. The email continued with:

“If an hour, we can do other rep as well. We neednt spend a ton of time on [The composer whose Cantata I was interested in.]”

In my mind I thought “I’m not going there for a voice lesson or to be coached, I’m auditioning for a concert,” so I told him I would rather do the half-hour (again, most auditions never take more than 5 – 10 minutes), and that I would like to bring [X aria from the cantata in question] for him to hear.

Instead, this conductor said “I will be very familiar with your unique instrument and talent from the vocalise session. Don't worry about rep in that case. We'll just take it easy.”

Vocalise session? As one of my favorite authors once put it, curioser and curioser.

I arrived at the designated place and met with the conductor. The vocalise session started – the first thing he had me do was do a 1-3-5-3-1 arpeggio on a purely nasal squeeze. I am not exaggerating, the sound he required me to do was a high laryngeal, frontally placed nasal emission that made my larynx figuratively shoot up through my nose… very uncomfortable. This was to be followed by another arpeggio properly produced – I knew that aftersqueezing in such a manner I wouldn’t be able to get the space I have been developing with my teacher, but he insisted. 

Eventually I finished vocalising for him through several other exercises – he kept demonstrating in his own voice what he wanted me to do, and it was very much the ‘pinched’ nasal tone that had proved to be my undoing from previous teachers in the past. I approached it the way I have been learning with my new teacher—where frontal placement and resonance is a by-product of the combination of an open throat, a raised soft palate, proper breath support and lack of excessive pressure (the problem with having frontal placement as a primary effort and focus is that you end up with a collapsed soft palate and a raised larynx… i.e., how I was singing before I started with my new teacher) … I succeeded to a certain extent, but the first squeezed vocalise had given me a whole lot of tension to work with and not much time to reset my larynx.

When we were finished he didn’t address the Cantata casting per se, but vaguely hinted at the fact that he would like for me to work in ‘this environment’ (the place where this group sings) and even take lessons from him (knowing full well I was studying with another teacher), saying that he didn’t know how ‘the politics of that’ would work out. He mentioned that he had worked with ‘all the big boys’ and did a brief recount of his credentials for me, hinting at the fact that he could teach me how to do things in the style of the aforementioned big boys. He said that it was also possible that one day I might end up with a position at this place, provided I was willing to work with the music director who is a rather intense fellow (who must be so due to the enormous amount of music he must cover in such a short time.)

I was more or less stunned at this and said I’d e-mail him back. The whole deal struck me as simply bizarre. He said he thought my voice was excellent, gorgeous and beautiful, but the overture of offering lessons to me disoriented me – in ‘the field’ so to speak, it is considered very unethical to make overtures towards another voice student unless that student has openly expressed a desire to change teachers. Mme Iris would not have me discuss changing into her studio, for example, until I had settled the matter with my previous voice teacher, out of professional respect. So, in a way, I came out with a certain unsettling feeling at what had happened.

Ultimately, it came to nothing. The conductor ignored any e-mails and never responded afterwards. I judged that it was best not to pursue what was obviously an endeavor with a very toxic person who lacked in principles. I did some digging around among singers in the area and he has a reputation for doing exactly what he did with me: I know of a tenor and a soprano that have gone through his rigmarole too. In the end, although the concert exposure would have been positive, it is a good thing that it did not come to be.

All in all, a supremely bizarre experience.

Now that I’ve shared this mini-horror story with you, singers (more surreal than horrific, I guess), I want to ask you the following questions:

 

• What signs would have told you from the get-go that this audition/gig was a rotten deal?
• Do you think I handled the situation in a good way, or would you have been more outspoken? Why?
• Have you had similar experiences, or worse? If so, can you share what you learned from them, so that other singers don’t have to go through with them?

 

I look forward to your replies!